My heart was too big for my body so I let it go

So yeah, its been while. I mean, not really.... but since I started this thing I haven't gone this long with out posting something. Everytime I came up with an idea to write about on this I have either been driving or lying in my bed half alseep. Which usually leads to me either totally forgetting the idea or never getting around to it. Ya know, I actually wrote up pretty Katrina-esq intro and ALMOST posted a poem I wrote.... but then I pussied out. I dunno why, I mean the damn thing is a few years old but I just couldn't do it. Had it all ready to go and all I needed to do was hit "publish" but I let the fear get to me. I dunno...exposing that part of me...the completely vulnerable, unguarded and unspoken words of my heart....even if I don't feel that same way and have grown up and moved on. It's still hard to share that with the world. Howevs and typical me, I wrote this intro about how fucking amazing it was to read my poem outloud, etc. And I totally did read it outloud to a room full of strangers at one of Blaire's poetry things last year. Oh well....I could make this so long by going on and on but I'm actually falling asleep as I write this so it can't be very good and I'm ending it. 

Okay, sooooo I was sitting here in my family room watching the awesome storm. (Seriously, that lightening is AMAZING, especially with the clouds, it looks so freaking beautiful) while listening to my fave youtubes on shuffle and the spoken word poet, Anis Mojgani, came on with one of my fave poems. I basically just sat for lil bit and decided, boom....this is it. I love this poem, its beautiful so just post it and you will be good to go. Sooooooo, boom here it is. And I am going to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!.

Come Closer

by Anis Mojgani

come closer.

come into this. come closer.

you are quite the beauty. if no one has ever told you that before know that now. you are quite the beauty. there is joy in how your mouth dances with your teeth. your mouth is a sign of how sacred your life truly is. come into this. true of heart come into this. you are true of heart. come closer. come closer. know that whatever God prays to He asked it to help Him make something of worth. He woke from His dreams scraped the soil form the spaces inside Himself made you and was happy. you make the Lord happy.

come into this

come closer.

know that something softer than us but just as holy planted the pieces of Himself into our feet that we might one day find our way back to Him. you are almost home.

come closer come into this. there are birds beating their wings beneath your breastplate gentle sparrows aching to sing come aching hearts come soldiers of joy doormen of truth come true of heart come into this.

my heart was too big for my body so I let it go and most days this world has thinned me to where I am just another cloud forgetting another flock of swans but believe me when I tell you my soul has squeezed into narrow spaces. place your hand beneath your head when you sleep tonight and you may find it there making beauty as we sleep as we dream as we turn over when I turn over in the ground may the ghosts that I have asked answers of do the turning kneading me into crumbs of light and into this thing love this thing called life. come into it!

come you wooden museums

you gentle tigers

negro farces in two broken scenes.

come rusting giants!

I see teacups in your smiles upside down glowing. your hands are like my heart. on some days how it trembles. let us hold them together. I am like you. I too at times am filled with fear. but like a hallway must find the strength to walk through it. walk through this with me. walk through this with me. through this church birthed of blood and muscle where every move our arms take every breath we swallow is worship.

bend with me. there are bones in our throats. if we choke it is only on songs.