To give and not to count the cost



Wow, where to begin?! The time has finally come….I have been waiting anxiously since October for this once and a lifetime adventure: the Ignatian Pilgrimage to Spain and Italy.  I will be traveling with 4 other lovely ladies from Ignatius as well as 30 other people from the various Jesuit institutions belonging to the Detroit/Chicago Province. (Keeping my fingers crossed for some young, attractive male teachers but I’m thinking most likely that will be a negative ghost rider.)

I am beyond excited for this trip. Speechless, almost that is… I don’t think I can ever be speechless! However I’m hoping one day something moves me to that point where words lack meaning and I cannot utter a sound. I have been looking forward to this trip for many reasons. Number 1: I have never been to Europe. I actually will never forget when I read the email that I had been chosen to go on the pilgrimage. I can remember vividly the night before having a conversation with a friend about how badly I want to travel to Europe. Then, that next day I read my emails and I had to re-read it like three times to make sure I was reading it right. At this point, I knew I would most likely not be working at Ignatius at the time of the pilgrimage so my first feeling of overwhelming excitement was put on a gut-wrenching halt thinking about one, the reality of no longer being at this place (Ignatius) and two, missing out on this once and a lifetime experience. Thankfully, I received word that yes, it was known that I was looking into possible job opportunities and that I was welcomed to come on the trip if I had found a new job at that point. Thank you Lord and St. Ignatius!!!

I believe God works in mysterious ways. Life itself is one giant mystery which will never be solved until that day we greet Him at the pearly-white gates. However, God presents certain things, people, experiences at the times we need them most. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we need something until it arrives or even after it has passed. As I think back to the moment reading that first email about going on this pilgrimage... I realize how naïve I was, which was not bad thing. I was happy living in this world oblivious to how much everything was about to change in just a few short months...completely unaware of the colossal amounts of loss I would grieve from practically every direction in my life. At first I was just excited to go to Europe and see parts of the world I have never seen before, but now I am excited for so many other more meaningful reasons. I don’t think I could explain the depth of what this pilgrimage means to me (and I haven’t even been on it yet!). I fell in love with this place called Saint Ignatius High School which itself is so much more than just a school and even a place. If you want it to be, it can be a way of life. Trust me, not everyone chooses it, you are not forced to..its not the be all end all. You learn basic facts such as the Jesuit ideals and the whole Mission behind the institution and the Jesuit formation. The way of life I’m talking about simply comes from choosing to see God in everything we do and everyone we see.  And most importantly, to love. Love one and other, Love God and most importantly, love yourself. God and love are practically one in the same.  I don’t know where or who I would be if it wasn’t for spending 4 years at that place. I'm not saying the place is perfect..far from it. My years there weren't always sunshine and happiness. However, working there was the best opportunity God has ever provided me. And that opportunity I'm talking about wasn't just meeting amazing people, learning an abundance of knowledge from a professional standpoint or growing deep within my faith.  It was an opportunity to learn how to love….and especially learning how to love myself. In order to ever do anything or be anything in this life I needed to learn how to love ME. And it didn’t happen overnight by any means, and I don’t think I really 100% loved myself the moment I walked out those doors. You can see things so much clearly when you are removed from a situation or after an experience has passed. And looking back I see it in its entirety; the beginning and finished product. And just like any other relationship, loving yourself is something that needs to be worked every day of your life and you need to commit yourself completely to it.

Wow, I am really babbling away. What can I say; I have so many thoughts running around in this head of mine that I just need to get it out sometimes. And I’m not gonna lie, I think they are pretty insightful and worth sharing so that’s why I do this. This post was just supposed to be about where and what places I was actually going to but then I got on a roll. Oh and the whole point of the paragraph above, I’m excited to see where the man who so many of us base our lives after is from and the places that made him who he is. I give you an A for effort if you made it this far down and below are some of the places I will be.

Madrid

First destination on the map to hit up! It’s funny, the hotel we are staying at is called Hotel Convencion!!!!!  Convencion, my least favorite and most said word from last year.  I tell ya, I will never be able to escape the wrath of the Convencion…EVER. We spend two days in Madrid and we actally hit up Avila on our way to Loyola. I’m pumped for that because we actually have Mass at the Monastery of Incarnation which is home of St. Theresa, whom I used for my Confirmation name. Then I was latter dubbed “Little Flower” by 2 of my old co-workers.

Loyola

We spend 3 days in Loyola and this is the place I’m looking most forward to on the trip. We hit up a bunch of awesome spots here and see where St. Ignatius lived, where he was baptized and other things like that. Talking to some people that went on this pilgrimage before they said this was their favorite and I hear it is just absolutely beautiful.

Barcelona

Another 3 days or so is spent in and around Barcelona. We do a day trip to Montserrate visiting the Benedictine Arch-abbey and we also get to hit up Manresa. Looking forward to that and seeing the Grotto where Ignatius formed the Spiritual Exercises which I’m obvi a fan of doing SPA 3 times and I actually plan on doing the 19^th Annotation this upcoming fall.

Assisi

 I don’t know much about Assisi, besides that it’s in Italy. So I’ll report back with my juicy findings.

Rome and the Vatican

And we finally arrive to the grand finale! We spend 3 or 4 days here and I am super pumped for this. One, I get to see the crazy little Italian guys with their tight euro pants which I know will give me a good chuckle (I absolutely DESPISE dudes in tight pants, don’t  get me started). When we are in Rome we actually will have Mass at Gesu Church which is cool because I actually belong to Gesu back home. And finally, the obvi choice: St. Peter’s Basilica. Need I say more?

So yeah, I’m pumped. It should be awesome. All I need beside the essentials is my camera, a journal and my totally beat up worthless(yet priceless on another level) ipod. I’m actually going to be doing a “Technology Cleanse” while I’m on this so that means no CELL PHONE which means no facebook, no texting, no emailing, etc. Should be good for me. ALSO this is exciting. My cousin Danny came up with this idea, NO SMOKING! He told me typically on these trips people tend to give something up (his Dad is the most reliable Catholic I know and has met the Pope and stuff so I trust him) and he mentioned that would be something good to do. I really do want to quit smoking so if I kick it for 2 weeks while I’m there, maybe it will actually last this time We’ll see….gotta try though!  So that’s it people. I’m sure I will have mucho to write about when I get back and an incredible amount of pictures.  Also, one thing to add and then I’m seriously done. My uncle Mike gave my dad and all of their siblings a rosary made from the roses from my Grandma’s funeral. And if you were there….she had a SHITload. Had to throw in the word shit, it was her favorite word!!! Anyways, my Dad told me I can take the rosary with me so I am very excited about that. I’m sure she loves the fact that rosary will be taken all around to some of the holiest spots in the world. Okay, so this is me signing off until mid-July.  And if you read all of this…PROPS to you, thanks for taking the time to read this. J

Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve;
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do your will.