The Art of Hoping: Thank God my music's still alive

May is the month of music! I gave you a sweet little taste of some MMJ but that was just an introduction to them. Trust, they have some much better songs. Howevs, today I concentrate on one man and his ability to awaken every inch inside my soul.....SIR ELTON JOHN.

Oh man, where to begin? Well, my love affair with this dubbed knight began my freshman year of college. I always liked Elton but it wasn’t until a certain person came into my life that opened my eyes to the sensation of music and how it can awaken dormant feelings inside of you. Sometimes you need something so marvelous to move within you to make you aware.

My first night at John Carroll, I was sitting on the bench outside of Dolan, smoking a cigarette, three sheets to the wind, naturally. This blonde little hippie-chick came to join me and I had no idea in that moment my life would be forever changed. I have never met someone as unique and spirited as Kiki. She has this energy surrounding her that just draws people in and being in her presence you get to see the world through her eyes….and what a spectacular view that is. You begin to see the beauty in all things: big and small. Feel things and its entirety. My whole life, I have been someone that feels emotions quite intensely and embraces it, the good and bad. It has been a struggle; when I am happy, I am ecstatic however when I am sad, my heart aches. I put my entire self being into what I feel, into my passions. I tend to ignore my brain and follow my heart which has resulted with much pain but also brought moments of pure joy I would never trade in. For such a long time, I did not understand that not everyone lives their life this way. It took many years and much disappointment to learn most people are scared of the intensity emotions bring and either suppress or ignore it. Above all, I learned most people think with their head. I too, was terrified of feeling that intensity; I still am. However, as many times as I have tried to turn off that switch and ignore it, I can’t. I thought there was something wrong me with me and I should be like everyone else. Most of all I felt terribly alone, but when I met Kiki I realized I wasn’t alone and this is actually a gift. Our friendship opened my eyes to the reality of the world and how to escape:

Music.

You can lose yourself in music and find yourself at the same time. She introduced me to the wonder of Elton John and listening to him, for the first time in my life, I felt free. I felt comfort, I felt home. She and I would drive around in the infamous black lexus with the bright yellow Nebraska plates, listen to amazing music while lifting our spirits, have awesome conversations, feel whatever we felt at that moment and most importantly, laugh. We didn’t have to hide who we were, rather explore the depth of our cores. We could listen to Elton John and take a break from whatever was weighing heavy on us.

Kiki left John Carroll after freshman year but that year was enough to help me learn how to embrace all life has to offer. The journey hasn’t always been easy. Shit happens in life and you have to deal with it. Trust will be broken and faith seems to slip away so easily at times. Kiki inspired me to stop fighting with myself and live what is true in my heart. It takes an enormous amount of work and I have lost sight of it many times. But when I listen to Elton, it alll comes back. I find myself and I find peace when I listen to Elton. It's like my happy place….the melody of my soul. So below are my top 5 favorite Elton songs.

5. Levon